“Together may we give our children the roots to grow and the wings to fly.”

– Anonymous

They get overwhelmed, irritated, frustrated, jealous, scared, worried, embarrassed, excited, lonely, sad, and insecure. Kids as young as three even report feeling complex emotions such as guilt and shame.

You name it… they feel it. Even before they can speak it. Most young kids don’t have the vocabulary or awareness to talk about what they are feeling. Nor do they have the coping skills or life experience to manage these feelings.

You’ve probably seen them do this yourself. That expression can take the form of tantrums, irritability, back-talk, clinginess, school refusal, sleep challenges, throwing and hitting, and other undesirable behaviors.

Some of these expressions are definitely normal. Of course, all kids have some bumps in the road: periods of moodiness, difficulties with friends, fights with siblings, and challenges at school.

So, we have a bit of a conundrum:

How can you tell when what seems like a normal childhood difficulty has transformed into something more serious?

“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it is our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos.”

–J.R. Knost

Of course, you’ve tried to do everything you can to give your kids the emotional skills they need to identify, express, and manage their feelings.

You did your best to prepare with parenting classes, reading mommy blogs, consulting child development books, even asking your own parents what worked for them.

You tried teaching them about their feelings. Letting them cry it out. Ignoring tantrums. Hugging them closely when they seem out of sorts.

But sometimes they need more than what you can handle on your own.

As a parent, what you CAN do is RECOGNIZE when your child’s struggles might warrant professional help. Here are some questions to ask:

Is your child struggling in multiple areas of life (e.g., family relationships, school performance, friends, extracurricular activities)?

Has there been an observable change in his or her mood or behavior? Has he or she become increasingly angry or aggressive, for example? Has there been a significant change in how they eat and/or sleep?

Has your confident, carefree child begun to feel insecure and lose confidence? Have you noticed an inability to concentrate, think clearly, sit still, or make decisions? Maybe he or she has had a sudden, unexplained drop in grades at school.

Are they plagued with excessive worry or fears? Childhood anxieties can look like fear of the dark, separation from parents, worries about school, fear of failure, and phobias such as fear of dogs, needles, going on planes.

Have they expressed hopelessness about the future? Are they engaging in any kind of self-harm? Have you heard comments like, “I wish I weren’t here,” or “Nobody would care if I ran away”? Maybe they’ve talked explicitly about suicide.

Has he or she withdrawn from family, friends, or activities he or she used to enjoy?

Have you noticed hair-pulling or skin-picking?

Do they perform routines obsessively throughout the day, such as washing hands or cleaning things?

And all of them seem to be related to a parent’s deep desire to protect their children from struggling while helping their children believe in themselves and find their own strengths.

At SMPG, we support parents and caregivers reach their goals for their children by addressing the following concerns:

ADD/ADHD
Adjustment to Chronic Medical Conditions
Adoption
Anger Management
Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Bereavement
Body Image Issues
Bullying
Defiance
Depression and Mood Disorder
Executive Function Deficits
Family and Parent-Child Conflict
Impulse Control Problems
Learning Challenges
Parenting/Behavior Management
Parent-Child Communication
Perfectionism
Phobias
Relaxation/Mindfulness Training
Risk-Taking Behaviors
School Refusal
Selective Mutism
Self-Esteem
Separation Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety
Social/Communication Skills and Assertiveness Training
Stress Management
Trauma (e.g., sexual and physical abuse, natural disasters)

“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.”

– Matthew Jacobsen

It is a wonderful and often necessary tool to help your children build resilience and emotional intelligence.

Let’s face it: There are just some struggles your kids will go through that you were not prepared for.

That’s where we come in. Our team can handle the big stuff. Abuse. Divorce. Depression. OCD. We will be there to help you identify your child’s unique risk factors (e.g., learning difference, medical issues, parent discord, inherited mental health challenges) and protective factors (e.g., involved parents, supportive extended family members, invested teachers, resiliency, personal strengths) as part of a personalized treatment plan so that your child can have a more carefree childhood.

Therapy can also serve as a preventative tool by helping your children develop adaptive coping methods, boost self-esteem, strengthen social skills, learn how they can change their thoughts, and adopt healthy habits.

Some parents are reluctant to have their children enter therapy, since they do not understand how it works. That’s understandable, so let’s take a look at it…

First, parents meet alone with the therapist. During this session, the therapist will ask questions to gather background information, get a sense of what you would like to see your child gain from this process, and create treatment goals.

Likely the next session is where the child will meet the therapist (often alone) so that the therapist can begin the process of making sure your child feels safe, comforted, and validated in this environment. Our team of child psychologists will use a variety of methods (e.g., board games, toys, listening to music, creating art, active listening, etc.) to create this connection. This might happen right away, or it could take several sessions before your child feels they can trust the therapist.

Good news! Children typically like coming to therapy and might even ask you weekly when they will be seeing their “feelings doctor” again.

Your therapist will likely meet with you periodically to give you feedback about how these sessions are progressing and share with you tools you can use at home to support the progress.

Our team of child psychologists use a combination of mindful-based and positive parenting approaches to help you learn to consciously connect and respond to your children while providing them the support and structure they need.

We will help you uncover your own parental wisdom and strengths while also teaching you new ways to relate, problem-solve, and handle conflict in a way that will boost your parenting confidence.

“The parent-child connection is the most powerful intervention known to mankind.”

– Bessel van der Kolk

There’s no “how to be a good parent” handbook” – no report card or annual review to let you know you are doing OK.

Parenting can leave you feeling helpless, insecure, agitated, and panicked; and it can place physical, emotional, and financial strains on both you and your partner.

It’s even harder when you don’t “have a village” or you succumb to societal expectations that make you feel you are just not good enough!

So… you don’t have a handbook. That’s ok… you’ve got us. We will help you write your own parenting handbook.

That’s our approach at SMPG.

We know that seeing your child happy is one of the best feelings in the world… and that seeing them suffer absolutely breaks your heart.

If your gut is telling you that your child is struggling and that these struggles are beyond what you feel confident in supporting, call today and let us be part of your team: (305) 662-2686