Maybe you don’t know exactly when things changed…
But things between you two are definitely not the same.
Does communication feel impossible these days?
Open and honest communication, while easily one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, can feel like one of the toughest parts of being a couple. And the longer you are together, the tougher communicating can feel.
Resentments build up, unresolved issues from failed communication attempts loom, and the reliance of flawed communication styles (e.g., avoidant or aggressive communication styles) become your norm. You find yourself yelling instead of talking. Texting instead of verbally communicating.
Do you gravitate toward conflict? Avoidance? Passive-aggressive?
Are you tired of having the same arguments over and over?
Arguing repeatedly with little to no resolution, you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything.
Didn’t you share the same dreams in the beginning? But not conversations about finances, parenting, sex, in-laws, chore divisions – all result in arguments leaving one or both of you feeling disconnected and hopeless.
Do you miss the good old days when things felt so easy and fun?
While it is natural for many relationships to lose that initial spark, if those initial fuzzy feelings have been replaced with irritability and resentment, something might be off.
You no longer want to do things together, date nights have become a thing of the past, and you are questioning what even drew the two of you together in the first place.
Have you simply lost your connection?
There is something so powerful when two souls connect. When you finally feel like you have found that person who really gets you.
But then time passes, life happens, and suddenly you feel alone and disconnected in the same relationship what once made you feel so loved and safe.
Couples counseling is not only for romantic couples!
Therapy is an effective tool for all types of relationships: best friends, work-related, roommates, parents, and children.
The truth is… the majority of relationships go through hard times.
So, you’re not alone.
The more meaning you place on these relationships, the more sensitive you might feel when things start to get complicated.
And while conflict in a relationship is natural and can be resolved (often resulting in an even stronger union), there are times when conflict moves from healthy and normal to toxic and unbearable. These toxic conflicts can become all-consuming. You think about them, text about them, dream about them, and find yourself at odds with a person you truly care about. But you just don’t know how to repair them.
And if you are not prepared with the necessary skills and tools for supporting the relationship as it goes through the predictable relationship stages, it can get REALLY complicated.
But that doesn’t mean you have to give up. Complicated doesn’t always equal broken. And regardless of what struggles you and your partner are up against, there is something to say for everything you have already invested.
Couples counseling has gotten a bit of a bad reputation. We get that…
It’s almost a source of shame for some couples. But the way we see it… it’s an act of extreme courage to admit that you need help and that this relationship about which you care so deeply is really causing you pain.
What if you looked at it as an opportunity to create a unified vision for your relationship – an opportunity to focus on what is working and then to strengthen those components?
What if you saw it as a way for you to identify what’s not working and find solutions… with the support of a professional who has dedicated their lives to understanding what makes relationships work?
What if you don’t have to break up? What if working on these challenges can bring you closer together?
What if the journey through the hard stuff is just what you both need to have a solid and positive long-lasting relationship?
That’s what we are here for. Use us… and watch your relationship flourish!
“Couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy with their relationship without getting help.”
–John Gottman
Most couples wait too long to act.
Alarm bells are ringing, and couples are hitting the snooze button.
Although there is less and less of a stigma around therapy these days, there seems to still be a stigma around not being able to make a relationship work.
It’s crucial that couples see conflict as an inevitable part of a committed, meaningful relationship. And how one was raised to view conflict in relationships can play a big part in how they will respond when conflict with their partner becomes increasingly sensitive in nature.
Perhaps conflict was a sign of a failed marriage. Or perhaps you learned that addressing conflict is creating conflict, and it’s better to just stay quiet. Or perhaps you learned that conflict between a couple should be dealt with at home and not involve third parties. Either way, avoiding conflict or not learning how to repair the conflict backfires in relationships, eroding the quality of their interactions.
Unresolved issues lead to resentments, and resentments lead to a decreased sense of connection and security – and can even lead to health problems. Avoiding conflicts also robs the relationship of the opportunity to learn how to weather the inevitable storms life brings a couple.
Timing is everything in couples counseling. Take time before you reach crisis territory to strengthen your communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, and overall connection. That way when crises do show up, your relationship will be armed with strong roots that can carry you through even the toughest of storms.
No matter how difficult things are, couples counseling can help.
Our team of relationship therapists have advanced training in therapeutic interventions specific to couples, marriage counseling, and premarital counseling… and are up to date with the latest developments in couples research. Here’s how we can help:
Resolving conflict…
When you attend couples therapy, be prepared to learn strategies for effective conflict resolution, including active listening skills, validation, respectful and assertive communication tactics.
The goal will be to increase your toolbox so that you can gracefully work through conflict whenever it arises. However, there will be times when emotions and resentments get in the way of being able to use these tools on your own. Therefore, part of couples therapy will be leaning on your therapist to support you and your partner as you resolve conflicts together inside of your sessions.
As your therapist supports you through this process, she will be role modeling ways to stay calm, respectful, and neutral helping you to move toward goals of repair and resolution that are in the best interest of all parties involved.
Learning how to communicate…
Communication is an art form. And while most of the population does not have a degree in counseling or arbitration, healthy communication styles is an investment worth making to support this important cornerstone of your relationship.
In therapy, your clinician will help you and your partner identify your personal communication style and help you increase your awareness on how your communication styles might clash, making it difficult to have harmonious verbal exchanges. You will learn about the research regarding toxic communication styles in couples and how to identify when you are personally resorting to these dangerous verbal antics.
The benefits of healthy communication in a relationship are numerous, including increased sense of feeling understood, easier conflict resolution, and greater trust.
Learning how to communicate effectively and respectfully can help level up your relationship, simply changing the way you speak and listen to one another.
Healing from infidelity…
Our hearts ache for you and your relationship if either of you are experiencing the difficult feelings in response to infidelity. But we are committed to helping you heal from this heartache and will guide you with exercises, homework, and the faith to know that healing from infidelity can be achieved.
We will teach you how to write your own story around this challenge and help you both be committed to repairing the damage, rebuilding the trust, and reconnecting in meaningful ways.
Enhancing your passion, intimacy, and playfulness…
Therapy can help you find ways to make fun and connection priorities in your relationship.
Like an activities director on a cruise, your therapist will provide you an extensive list of potential activities that couples can do together throughout their day to increase their enjoyment in their relationship and prioritize emotional connection.
Yes… couples counseling really works!
First, there’s the research. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, at the end of couples therapy, more than 75% of couples were better off than those in the same situation that did not receive counseling; and 65% of couples reported a “significant improvement” in relationship satisfaction.
We have also seen these benefits firsthand.
And it can make a difference before you’re married, too!
Making the investment to help your relationship get off to a healthy beginning is priceless. Capitalizing on the opportunity to build the skills to help weather the inevitable ups and downs of a lasting marriage is a precious gift you can give each other. Here’s what you’ll get:
Gain insight about yourself and the relationship.
Learn to communicate and problem-solve effectively.
Bring awareness to differences in values.
Learn to avoid possible potential problem areas or pitfalls.
Learn to set expectations to grow a stable strong relationship.
Create a vision for your relationship and life together.
Learn how to maintain mindful habits.
Discuss hot-button topics like finances, children, in-laws, and more.
You CAN turn around your relationship.
Hopefully, both you and your partner are now convinced (or at least curious) about how therapy can help. If this is not the case, let us know. We can help – we can help you talk to your partner about the benefits of couples counseling and how it can be an opportunity for both of you to be heard and get your needs met.
In the midst of a struggle, it’s easy to think that nothing will help. Our team of relationship experts is waiting to help you find your way back to love… or, if need be, to gracefully uncouple.
You’ve come this far, so chances are you’re ready to take action.
Don’t wait any longer. Call today and let’s talk about how we can help: (305) 662-2686.
